Films like 300 and Troy show us heroic Greek warriors, but they had a freaky side! Sexuality was everywhere in ancient Greece, influencing their culture in ways that seem very strange to us today. Let’s dive into 10 weird sexual things the ancient Greeks did!
10. Very, Very Weird Methods of Contraception
Today, we have safe and effective birth control. But in ancient Greece, couples used bizarre methods. One was having the woman sneeze and drink something cold after sex – not effective! Another involved blocking the cervix with wood, ouch! Surprisingly, dates and pomegranates were consumed to decrease fertility, and modern studies show they might actually work a little. Still, stick to modern methods!
If you insist, here’s a gem from physician Soranus: “hold her breath, draw her body back a little so the semen cannot penetrate into the uteri, then immediately get up and sit down with bent knees, and this position provoke sneezes”. Good luck!
9. Public Masturbation was a Meme
We prefer to keep things private today. But in ancient Greece, philosopher Diogenes used public masturbation to fight the power. Living in a barrel, he was called a dog. When scolded, he replied: “If only it were so easy to soothe hunger by rubbing an empty belly”.
Aristophanes mocked Spartans for enjoying self-pleasure in his comedy Lysistrata. The appeal of a Spartan herald with a large erection starts peace talks. Go figure!
8. Kissing Women was Considered Weird
Kissing seems normal, right? Not always in ancient Greece. Greeting peers with a kiss was common before business meetings. Imagine modern politicians doing that instead of handshakes!
But kissing your wife in public was seen as a sign of weakness. Athenian general Pericles was criticized for it. Kissing signified equality, and women weren’t equal to men in most Greek city-states. It suggested Pericles was controlled by his wife, playing into the sexist trope of the evil seductress.
7. State-Sponsored Prostitution
Imagine presidential candidates debating prostitution rates! In ancient Greece, state-run brothels were a thing. Athenian lawmaker Solon regulated prices. These brothels had both male and female sex workers. Street prostitutes wore sandals that left “follow me” imprints.
High-class citizens could contract with mistresses skilled in pleasing men with wit and charm. Solon used the tax revenue to build a temple to Aphrodite, the goddess of love and pleasure.
6. Pederasty Was Normal
In Spartan culture, older men often took advantage of young boys during military training. The prevalence is debated, but many boys were exploited by mentors. At seven, boys entered state-sponsored military training, the Agoge. They developed skills as warriors. Same-sex partners were normal and encouraged, seen as male camaraderie.
Accounts vary on mentors and students. Some say it was acceptable if not only for physical pleasure, while others say it was okay after puberty. The true story is lost to history.
5. Drawing Penises Literally Everywhere
Today, this art is mostly found in bathroom stalls. Greeks were proud of their art and nudity. One statesman was executed for damaging Hermes’ member on a statue. Greeks slapped phalluses on busts and depicted them everywhere from public art to wine glasses.
Drunk Greeks likely found these images hilarious. One vase showed a woman tending a field of phalluses. No one can deny the Greek sense of humor!
4. Religion and Sex
Greek polytheism involved paying homage to gods through sacrifices and veneration. Aphrodite, the goddess of procreation and pleasure, was often appealed to for bedroom matters. She rose from foam created by Uranus’ genitalia falling into the ocean.
Aphrodite’s sexuality is a primary subject in Greek mythology. She committed adultery and started the Trojan War. One story tells of her feeding magic water to a man’s horses, causing them to eat him after he insulted her. Ouch!
3. Adultery was Far Worse than Rape
Despite their sexual openness, Greeks were strict about marital unfaithfulness. Seducing another man’s wife was worse than rape because women were considered a man’s “property,” making adultery a form of theft. Sexual assault was immoral but less serious if the woman was unmarried.
Sexual assault is common in Greek mythology. According to historian Herodotus, adultery needed avenging by the man, while assault did not, making it more severe. A man could inflict any punishment on another caught with his wife, from humiliation to murder.
2. Wild Drinking Parties
The Greeks loved their wine! The symposium was an important part of their culture. Between 14 and 27 men reclined on couches, engaging in intellectual discussions. Famous works depict these philosophical talks, like Plato’s Symposium.
But symposia could become less civil, with drunken madness, drinking games, and songs. Musicians and performers were hired, sometimes offering sexual favors. Women weren’t allowed, but high-scale prostitutes were sometimes hired for the guests.
1. Making Your Wife More Masculine to Appear Attractive
Spartan boys often had their first relationships with other boys. So, Spartan men forced their new brides to shave their heads and appear masculine before sex to transition from same-sex to heterosexual relationships? Yes!
Brides wore men’s clothing and shaved their heads, helped by a bridesmaid or servant. Men then snuck into their wives’ homes to consummate the marriage, increasing sexual desire. The bride lay in bed with a man’s cloak and sandals in the dark, and the new spouse “captured” her. Sounds… interesting!
Leave your comment below! What do you think was the weirdest habit?
