Crime is a serious matter, affecting lives and communities. However, sometimes, the sheer ineptitude of criminals can turn a grave situation into something almost laughable. While we don’t condone illegal acts, it’s hard not to chuckle at the misfortune of those who are clearly not cut out for a life of crime. Get ready to meet ten robbers whose blunders made them more of a danger to themselves than anyone else. Remember, all suspects are presumed innocent until proven guilty, no matter how silly their mistakes!
10. Daniel Rahynes: The ID Giver
In March 2011, Daniel Rahynes walked into a Metro Bank in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. His initial request? To open a new bank account. Helpful bank employees started the process, which included taking two forms of his identification for their records. Standard procedure, right?
Once his identity was officially on file, Rahynes then announced his real intention: to rob the bank. After grabbing a small sum of cash from a bewildered teller, he made his escape in a nearby car. He even hit another vehicle a few blocks away but continued his flee. Unsurprisingly, with his ID already handed over, it didn’t take police long to track him down and recover the money. Perhaps not the smoothest criminal plan.
9. Kasey Kazee: The Duct-Tape Bandit
Kasey Kazee earned his sticky nickname in August 2007. His disguise of choice for a liquor store robbery in Catlettsburg, Kentucky? Duct tape wrapped around his face and a t-shirt over the back of his head. The store owner, far from intimidated, chased Kazee out with a club.
Outside, Kazee was tackled and held until police arrived. During the scuffle, the sweat caused his duct tape mask to fall off, revealing his face. Despite being caught quite literally red-handed (or sticky-faced), Kazee initially denied any involvement. He eventually pleaded guilty, and the “Duct-Tape Bandit” found a new, less adhesive, residence in prison.
8. Cory Philips: The Gun Gifter
Picture this: Kentucky, October 2019. An armed man with his face covered enters a hotel. He points a gun at the clerk and demands cash. The clerk complies, spreading stacks of bills on the counter and handing him a plastic bag.
Here’s where it gets interesting. To stuff the money into the bag, the robber decided he needed both hands. So, he placed his pistol down on the counter. The quick-thinking clerk seized the opportunity and grabbed the robber’s gun. When the criminal realized his mistake and tried to vault the counter to retrieve it, the clerk pointed his own weapon at him. He quickly decided a retreat was the better option. Cory Philips was later arrested for this memorable blunder.
7. Albert Bailey: The Pre-Robbery Phone Call
Calling ahead can save time, but it’s generally not recommended for illegal activities. Albert Bailey learned this the hard way in Connecticut. He decided to phone a bank and inform the teller to get the money ready because he was on his way to rob them.
The teller, naturally, called 911. The bank went into lockdown. Before it was fully secured, an underage accomplice of Bailey’s entered with a note threatening a “blood bath” and requesting no dye pack. Despite the request, a dye pack was included, and it exploded when the duo threw the bag down as they were arrested after leaving the scene. Not quite the smooth operation they’d envisioned.
6. Anthony Prince and Luke Carroll: The Name Tag Duo
Two Australian friends living in Vail, Colorado, impulsively decided to rob a bank. Their plan, however, lacked a bit of… well, planning. They wore masks, but that’s where the foresight ended. They were still in their work clothes, complete with name tags. Their distinct Australian accents also stood out in Colorado. Waving realistic-looking BB pistols, they managed to steal over $100,000.
Their post-robbery activities were equally ill-conceived. They immediately started spending the cash at nearby businesses, buying a Rolex, airline tickets to Mexico, and even giving a cab driver a $20,000 tip. They also posed for photos with the loot. Detectives said it took them less than 10 minutes to identify the pair. Shocking, right?
5. Unidentified Man: The Dropped Gun and Pants
In September 2018, a man in Denver Broncos gear entered an e-cigarette store in Aurora, Colorado, intending to rob it. As he approached the counter, he tried to pull out a replica pistol. In a classic case of butterfingers, he lost his grip, and the gun went flying over the counter, landing near the surprised clerk.
The panicked robber attempted to jump over the counter to get his weapon back but couldn’t quite make it before the clerk picked up the gun. Defeated, he turned to flee. As he kicked the door open to escape, his loose sweatpants decided it was their time to shine (or rather, fall), adding a final touch of indignity to his failed heist. He remains unidentified – perhaps out of collective embarrassment.
4. Shawn Brown: The Locked-In Robber
October 2019, Philadelphia. A man entered a cell phone store, armed with a gun, demanding money. The store didn’t have much cash on hand, much to the robber’s disappointment. The clever employee told the gunman that another employee outside had the rest of the money. If the robber would just wait patiently inside, the employee offered to go get it.
The robber agreed. The employee walked out and promptly locked the door, trapping the criminal inside. Panicked, the tricked robber tried to shoot his way out, firing ten rounds and riddling the store front with bullet holes, but he remained stuck. Police soon arrived and arrested Shawn Brown at the scene, still inside the store.
3. Forest Kelly Bissonnette: The Personal Check Note
On September 5, 2007, Forest Kelly Bissonnette decided to rob a Bank of the West. His method for demanding money? A note handed to the teller that read, “Give me all the money in your drawer Now.” The paper he chose for this critical communication was none other than his own personal bank check, complete with his name and account number printed on the back. He had tried to scribble them out, but they were still perfectly legible.
Bissonnette left with $5,000, and an arrest warrant was quickly issued by the FBI. He eventually surrendered to the police. Talk about leaving a paper trail!
2. Unknown Robbers: The Wrong Address Heist
In February 2013, a group of would-be criminal masterminds in Poynton, Scotland, devised a plan to tunnel into a Royal Bank of Scotland vault. Their strategy involved breaking through the ceiling from below. A well-organized plan, except for one tiny detail: they got the location wrong.
Instead of emerging into the bank vault, they broke through the ceiling into a vacant office space right next door to the bank. They made another attempt by creating a second hole, which did lead them into another room of the bank, but they were ultimately unable to complete their mission and left empty-handed. Local police are still looking for tips on these hard-working but geographically challenged suspects.
1. Macarthur Wheeler and Clifton Johnson: The Lemon Juice Invisibility Cloak
This robbery attempt from January 1995 is so famously bad it inspired psychological studies. Macarthur Wheeler and Clifton Johnson discovered that lemon juice can be used as invisible ink. Their brilliant deduction? If they rubbed lemon juice on their faces, their features would also become invisible to security cameras.
Confident in their citrus-based stealth technology, they doused their faces in lemon juice and robbed a bank. Ignoring the stinging in their eyes, they told the very confused tellers not to worry about their (allegedly) invisible faces. Of course, the bank employees and cameras had no trouble seeing their undisguised features. They were apprehended shortly after.
When confronted with security footage, Wheeler was reportedly astounded, exclaiming, “But I wore the juice!” This case led psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger to study the phenomenon where individuals with low ability at a task overestimate their ability. It’s now known as the Dunning-Kruger effect, proving that sometimes, the most inept are the most confident, even in crime.
And there you have it – ten tales of robbers whose criminal careers were cut short by their own astonishing incompetence. From providing IDs to using lemon juice for invisibility, these stories show that not everyone is cut out for a life of crime, and sometimes, their failures are just too funny not to share.
Which of these hilariously bungled robberies surprised you the most? Do you know of any other epic criminal fails? Leave your comment below and share the laughter!
