Bills—we all get them. Whether it’s for taxes, rent, or your phone, paying up is part of life. Nobody loves it, but that’s how the world works. Some people, though, go to wild extremes to avoid opening their wallets. Here are ten of the craziest reasons people have given for not paying their bills.
10. Dog Watched Porn, Not Me
The adult entertainment industry is worth billions, even with piracy cutting into profits. Satellite TV is still a cash cow, as Thomas Barnes, 58, found out when he got a $70 charge for the Hustler channel. His excuse? His dog, Marino, a cute bichon frise, jumped on the remote and ordered it by accident. He claimed he called right away, but it wasn’t resolved until he complained to the Federal Communications Commission. Only then did the company apply a credit to his account.
9. I Am Not A Person
Income tax is a yearly pain for many. In Australia, it started in 1915. Glen James Polglaise from North Bendigo, Australia, hated it so much he didn’t file from 2012 to 2017. His reason? “I am not a person.” He argued he waived his right to be recognized as a person, so he wasn’t a resident for tax purposes, citing the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Magistrate Michael King wasn’t buying it. He fined Polglaise $6,000 plus costs, stating citizens can’t pick and choose laws.
8. Cake Was Half Eaten When I Found It
We all love a good deal. Some clip coupons, join loyalty programs, or hunt for bargains. One creative woman in Wichita Falls, Texas, took it further. She ate half a cake and then refused to pay full price, claiming it was like that when she found it. The Walmart manager called the police. They convinced her to pay, and Walmart banned her. Talk about a bad craving!
7. Construction
Finding a great apartment with a view can be awesome, but not when construction starts next door. Dale Arnold from Burnaby, British Columbia, stopped paying rent because of the noise and dust. “They’re cannibalizing our building,” he complained about the constant disruptions. The property manager tried to smooth things over with cupcakes and a barbecue, but it didn’t work. He lost his case with the Residential Tenancy Branch, and the city offered little help.
6. Goose Poop
Money can’t buy happiness, right? Tom Golisano, a billionaire and former owner of the Buffalo Sabres, refused to pay $90,000 in taxes because Canada geese were using his lawn as a bathroom. “You can’t walk barefoot, can’t play Frisbee, can’t have your grandchildren run around,” he lamented. The town supervisor said it was his problem, not the town’s. Golisano, founder of a tax-reducing party, planned a class-action lawsuit.
5. I Could Have Been With A Psychopath
Traffic tickets are annoying, but usually, we just pay them. Not Amy Rush of Minnesota. Thirty years ago, she was a 15-year-old runaway hitchhiking when the car she was in got pulled over. The driver got a speeding ticket, and she got one for not wearing a seatbelt, which she never paid. Her reasoning? The officer didn’t check her ID or care that she might be with “a deranged psychopath.” She’s been getting collection letters ever since but refuses to pay.
4. Buried Father Who Was Not Dead
Joey Pellegrino withdrew $2,175 from his bank due to a glitch, but didn’t report it. He took out even more, overdrawing the account. When the bank contacted him, he agreed to pay it back but claimed he gave the money to his mother to bury his father. The problem? His father was still alive! Even worse, his father said he gave Joey money to pay the bank back. After the drama, Joey finally confessed.
3. Name In Capital Letters
In the UK, if you’re over 18 and rent or own a home, you pay council tax. Simple, right? Adrian May, 54, from Mansfield disagreed. He refused to pay because his name was in capital letters, which he thought meant he was dead. Even though he was alive and protesting, he wouldn’t pay for three years. Only after a court appearance and proof his name was in lowercase did he finally agree.
2. God
Faith can move mountains, or at least, according to Delila Hernandez of New Mexico, pay for takeout. She ordered at a local restaurant and, when asked for payment, said, “This one’s on God.” Then, she left. The server tried to stop her, but she threatened him. Police charged her with felony robbery. After expressing remorse, she was likely charged with a petty misdemeanor instead.
1. You Didn’t Let Me On Your Show
In Ireland, the national broadcaster, RTE, is funded by TV license fees. Richard Behal from Killarney refused to pay for 21 years and got 15 days in jail in 2005. Why? Because RTE didn’t interview him on an election show in 1984. He was a candidate for Sinn Fein, seen as the political arm of the IRA. The IRA was a violent group, so he was banned from the show, leading to his two-decade-long protest.
These stories might make you feel a little better about your own bill-paying struggles. People will come up with the most outrageous reasons to avoid paying what they owe. Next time you’re dreading a bill, just remember these excuses and have a little laugh!
