10 Hilarious & Bizarre Units of Measurement You Never Knew

Inches, centimeters, feet, kilometers, miles, gallons, quarts – we could list internationally recognized units of measurement all day! Whether you favor the metric or imperial system, we can all agree there are standard ways to define measurements. However, some measurements are downright bizarre and even hilarious! Let’s explore ten unusual units of measurement you probably didn’t know existed.

These aren’t everyday ways to measure things, but once you learn about them, you might just find a way to slip them into conversation. We know we will!

10 Sagan

Carl Sagan, the famous astronomer and planetary scientist, remains well-known. Even decades after his death, his name frequently arises in conversations about stars, planets, and the universe. So, it makes sense his name would become a funny measurement unit, right?

Like the things Sagan studied, this unit is big—really big. A “sagan” (or “sagan unit” to avoid confusion) is a facetious measurement for a very large number. Sagan often used the phrase “billions and billions” when talking about the stars or the universe’s age and size. Thus, the sagan unit was born!

Technically, a sagan unit is at least four billion of something—two billion (“billions”) plus another two billion (“and billions”). It can apply to anything: money, stars, grains of sand, you name it! If you have four billion of something, you’ve got a sagan unit.^[1]

9 Altuve

Jose Altuve, the Houston Astros’ second baseman, is an electrifying player, despite being only 5’5″ (1.65 meters). His height drew attention, as many wondered how such a “little guy” could hit, field, and show power and speed so well. He gave hope to height-challenged people worldwide!

Fans joked about creating an “Altuve” as a recognized measurement unit. And so they did! An “Altuve” is exactly 5 feet and 5 inches. Measure baseball players or random heights around your house in “Altuves”! For example, Randy Johnson, the legendary pitcher at 6’10”, had his uniform cover 1.26 Altuves of height. Not a bad way to measure things!^[2]

8 The Jimmy Griffin Snow Index

Buffalo, New York, is known for lake-effect snow, and residents expect frequent snowstorms every winter. But Buffalo doesn’t measure snow in inches or feet anymore; they measure it in cans of beer, thanks to a former mayor!

In the 1980s, Mayor James D. Griffin (aka “Six Pack Jimmy”) told residents to grab a six-pack of beer and wait out a snowstorm. WKBW-TV asked how fast to drink, and Jimmy suggested one beer for every four inches of snow. Thus, the “Jimmy Griffin Snow Index” was born. Locals measure snow in four-inch amounts and match it with beer. Two feet of snow? Time to knock out a six-pack!^[3]

7 Donkeypower

We all know horsepower. In the late 18th century, James Watt defined it as 32,500 foot-pounds-per-minute (later rounded to 33,000). Today, it’s the standard for car engine power. What if you wanted to measure less than one horsepower?

That’s why we have donkeypower! Donkeypower is officially one-third of one horsepower, equating to about 250 watts. So, for a slow machine, you can measure it in donkeys. Engineers suggested donkeypower in the 1880s to study less powerful machines, and it’s been around for about 140 years!^[4]

6 Friedman Unit

The Friedman Unit equals six months. It pokes fun at New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman for his Iraq War thoughts. After the war began, Friedman said the first six months were critical. He made this “next six months” prediction at least FOURTEEN times!

In 2006, Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting (FAIR) noted Friedman had been using his “next six months” line since November 2003. Thus, the Friedman Unit was born. It’s a measure of time equal to six months, a not-so-polite tribute to Friedman’s repeated predictions. Duncan Black gets credit for starting it, while FAIR popularized it.^[5]

5 Microcentury

John von Neumann, a prominent mathematician, lectured quickly and precisely. Students struggled to take notes and asked him to slow down. However, he had a specific time frame in mind—the “microcentury.”

To von Neumann, it was important not to dawdle. He coined the “microcentury” as the perfect lecture length. One microcentury is exactly 52 minutes and 35.7 seconds, or one one-millionth of a century. He didn’t allow his lectures to last longer, and the microcentury flourished in the math world!^[6]

4 The New York Second

You’ve heard of the “New York Minute,” meaning something happening very quickly. New York City is busy, and a “New York Minute” calls out how fast-paced the city can be. But what about a “New York Second?”

Coined in Terry Pratchett’s novel Lords and Ladies, the “New York Second” is the time between a traffic light turning green and the cab behind you honking. It’s a humorous expression showing how demanding life in New York can be!^[7]

3 Scaramucci (aka “Mooch”)

Anthony Scaramucci was Donald Trump’s communications director for exactly eleven days. Now, those in Trump’s orbit measure time in Scaramuccis, or “Mooches.”

A “Mooch” equals eleven days. White House staffers joked about it after Scaramucci’s firing, and he’s in on it too. He admitted to using it as an 11-day log for his life. Communications personnel weighed their careers by the amount of Scaramuccis they remained employed. A month is just under three Scaramuccis, and a year is just over 33!^[8]

2 Ohnosecond

An “ohnosecond” is the time between realizing you’ve made a terrible computer mistake and saying “oh no.” This includes deleting text, forgetting to save, sending the wrong email, or forgetting an attachment—mistakes and mishaps, but usually not life-changing.

Elizabeth Powell Crowe coined the term in her 1993 novel The Electronic Traveler. Back then, computer technology felt like the Wild West. We struggled with clunky computers and software, and many experienced mini-terrors when a document disappeared and an “ohnosecond” washed over us.^[9]

1 Tatum

A tatum is a musical feature your brain recognizes, even if you don’t know it exists. Definitions include “the smallest time interval between successive notes in a rhythmic phrase” or “the shortest durational value… in music that [is] still more than incidentally encountered.” It’s the shortest between-note beat pause your brain can register when following music’s rhythm.

Jeff Bilmes, an MIT graduate student, first named the tatum in his 1993 thesis, “Timing Is of The Essence.” He defined a “tatum” as those brief open pauses, inspired by jazz pianist Art Tatum, who was known for playing quickly. Bilmes figured out that Art’s “tatum” beats were faster than anyone else’s!^[10]

From the vastness of a Sagan to the fleeting moment of an Ohnosecond, these unusual units of measurement offer a humorous twist on how we perceive the world. Which one surprised you the most?

Leave your comment below and tell us which unit of measurement you found the most amusing!