Ever wondered what life behind bars is truly like, beyond what you’ve seen in movies like Orange Is the New Black? You might picture basic necessities like shower shoes and candy bars. But the reality of prison commissaries and inmate ingenuity can be far stranger, and sometimes more dangerous, than fiction. Get ready to explore some of the most bizarre items people can actually get their hands on in prison.
10. Baby Clams and Oysters
Believe it or not, some federal prison commissaries offer gourmet treats like smoked oysters and baby clams. These are items many consider delicacies or tapas enjoyed by food connoisseurs. It’s rather surprising to find such fancy fare available where basic meals are the norm. Imagine inmates snacking on baby clams instead of popcorn during movie night! While it might seem odd, these seafood options, including canned sardines and salmon, are likely a welcome change from standard prison food. One can only guess at the aroma in a shared cell, though.
9. Knitting Needles
The idea of inmates knitting for charity might sound unusual, but it’s a reality in some correctional facilities. The “Knitting Behind Bars” program, spearheaded by Lynn Zwerling, took five years to establish but has proven highly successful. Lynn realized that the calming nature of knitting could significantly aid in inmate rehabilitation. This program provides a peaceful, meaningful activity, fostering a sense of community. Prisoners socialize, share ideas, and practice good manners, much like any knitting circle. Participants value it so much that some even skip dinner to attend a two-hour session.
8. Waist Trimmers
In at least one federal prison, inmates can purchase waist trimmers and tummy belts for around $10. These items are designed to compress the midsection, creating a slimmer appearance. Some are even marketed for weight loss, though experts debate their effectiveness. Why offer these in prison? They’re listed as “recreational items,” alongside weightlifting gloves. Perhaps inmates are keen on staying fit and healthy, especially if they’ve been indulging in those commissary clams! It’s a peculiar item, but shows a focus on personal appearance even behind bars.
7. Mustache Scissors
One Georgia jail offers mustache scissors and beard trimmers for about $8. Considering inmates earn as little as $0.12 per hour, this is a significant expense. Are specialized scissors for mustaches truly essential? Prisons maintain strict grooming standards; failing to keep clean can lead to violations or trouble with fellow inmates. While personal hygiene is important, scissors might seem an unnecessary luxury. Plus, allowing inmates access to any bladed tool raises safety questions. Some might cultivate a mustache just for an excuse to have scissors.
6. Prison Gift Shop Souvenirs
Yes, prison gift shops are a real thing! Primarily targeting tourists, but sometimes accessible to inmates, these shops sell items you’d find in typical tourist spots: hoodies, key rings, and coffee mugs. Ironically, they are often located near some of the nation’s most notorious prisons. For instance, in Huntsville, Texas, home to “Ole Sparky,” you can buy t-shirts declaring “Property of Texas Prison System.” At Angola in Louisiana, known for its extreme isolation practices, prisoners run the “Prison View Golf Course,” where golf balls and Angola dog collars are popular gift shop items.
5. A Spork (Spoon-Fork)
For some inmates, a trip to the prison commissary might be a small source of comfort. This is likely why sporks are commonly sold. However, these seemingly harmless utensils can be filed down and turned into makeshift weapons. To address this, many prisons are transitioning to innovative, safer alternatives like the “Ecotensil.” Made from slick cardboard, this utensil can cut through food but not skin. It’s also designed to break down easily if swallowed or flushed, making it virtually non-weaponizable and enhancing safety for everyone.
4. Nunchucks (DIY)
While not available for purchase, ingenuity knows no bounds. Lorenzo Pollard, an inmate, famously crafted a pair of nunchucks from chair legs and linen during a workshop. He then used his homemade weapon to fight off guards, break a window, and escape over two fences, earning him the nickname “Bruce Lee.” His daring escape, though ultimately short-lived, demonstrates that with enough determination, inmates can create surprising tools, even weapons, from everyday items.
3. Hippy Crack (Nitrous Oxide)
In 2017, footage emerged of three UK inmates inhaling nitrous oxide, or “laughing gas,” from balloons. Commonly known as “hippy crack,” this colorless gas can induce relaxation and euphoria. However, it also carries risks. Higher doses can cause hallucinations, and inhaling it without sufficient oxygen can even lead to death. The video showed one inmate appearing to lose consciousness, highlighting the dangerous lengths some will go to for a temporary escape from reality.
2. Prison Wine (Hooch)
Alcohol has a long history of being made in even the most restrictive environments, and prisons are no exception. “Pruno,” or jailhouse booze, is a testament to human resourcefulness. It can be concocted from various ingredients, including fruit, tea, sugar, and even moldy bread. Despite the dangers, such as botulism, making hooch is a deeply ingrained part of prison culture. Officials have tried to stop its production for ages, but this DIY liquor remains a persistent feature of prison life, with some wardens now accepting it as an unavoidable reality.
1. Bombs (from Coffee Creamer)
You might know that fine dust, like that from grain, can be highly explosive. The same principle applies to other fine powders, including something as innocuous as powdered coffee creamer. In the UK, prison officials narrowly avoided a disaster when inmates attempted to create a bomb using this common canteen item. Four inmates were caught after their “teatime experiment” ignited and burst when thrown into a stairwell. Luckily, it didn’t fully explode, but it alerted authorities to the potential for powdered creamer to be weaponized. Perhaps supplying real milk would be safer!
The world inside prison walls is often more complex and surprising than we imagine. From everyday items turned into dangerous tools to unexpected comforts, the resourcefulness and realities of prison life continue to fascinate and sometimes alarm us.
What’s the most surprising item on this list to you? Leave your comment below!
