What’s your dream living situation? Maybe a quiet village or a bustling futuristic metropolis? Many of us daydream about the perfect place, whether it’s a peaceful, natural retreat or a thriving urban center.
It doesn’t have to be too far-fetched. For some, running a lovely restaurant with an apartment overhead is the ultimate goal. But in reality, these ideal settings often have hidden downsides. Let’s explore 10 fantasy locations from movies, TV, books, and games that would be surprisingly terrible to live in.
Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory
A Business That Relies On Unethical Labor Practices
Imagine this: You’re the new manager, nervously taking over. You catch a whiff of raspberries, give the statue a lick, and think, “Nougat! This guy’s a genius!” But then, you hear a terrifying chant from down the hall.
“Oompa loompa doompety doo, I’ve got another puzzle for you, oompa loompa doompety dee, what will it take for us to be free?” This is the sound of a slave army approaching, ready to liberate themselves from the tyrannical chocolate factory.
So, if you’re handed the keys to this place, they’re coming for you sooner or later. And if you’re a crazed sociopath with enough power to keep these orange-faced elves in line, what have you really gained? Just a chocolate factory!
This place is far from the whimsical dream it seems.
The Shire
Eventually, You’ll Be Overrun
Picture this: You’re around 3’6″ tall, and everyone you know is about the same height. You live in an agricultural community that avoids adventure and hates violence. Your land is a peaceful paradise filled with resources.
But who are your neighbors? Horse-riding warriors twice your size, fresh off defeating an evil demigod using a magical ring. You almost became slaves to a weakened wizard. How can your people possibly withstand an expanding empire with no immediate threats and a hunger for resources?
Hobbits are history unless… a wave of like-minded little people seeks refuge in the Shire from similar oppressive situations. Then, you might form a coalition, send ambassadors to Rohan and Gondor for a non-aggression pact, and train your growing population in asymmetric, guerilla warfare for the inevitable invasion.
The County Of Midsomer
A Picturesque County With A Deadly Secret
The Shire is Tolkien’s version of the English countryside, translated into a fantasy setting. The county of Midsomer, from the TV show Midsomer Murders, does something similar, placing an idealized area in a more contemporary context.
The place seems perfect with its charming villages, beautiful flowers, quaint cottages, bicycles, and friendly, tweed-clad locals driving their 4x4s at a snail’s pace. But Midsomer has a dark secret: its murder rate rivals the most dangerous cities in Mexico.
With at least 369 murders, 87 attempted murders, and other deaths (like killers falling into quarries and ordinary countryside suicides), this county might not be the best place to settle down. On the bright side, it’s only a two-hour commute to London.
Metropolis
A Crime-Ridden City At The Mercy Of An Alien
Imagine being mugged when, suddenly, Superman swoops down to save you. But what about all the times when Superman is busy fighting General Zod?
Even if Superman isn’t planning a utilitarian-inspired totalitarian regime, remember that Metropolis is right next door to Gotham City—one of the worst cities in the world!
Crime rates will always be high, especially when gentrification hits East Gotham and all the supervillains band together to rent a brownstone across the river in Metropolis.
The Hall Of Valhalla
Get Ready For The Scariest Waiting Game
Let’s say the afterlife and the Norse gods are exactly as the ancient Norse imagined. Ragnarok—the world-ending battle—sounds awful. You and your spear will face a host of monsters.
Do you think Fenrir, the giant wolf and child of Loki, will patiently wait for his battle with Odin? Of course not! He’ll want to fill his belly with some tasty entrails first. Guess how your entrails taste? Fenrir wants to find out.
Ever waited in a hospital for test results? Valhalla is like waiting for results you know will be positive because Ragnarok is inevitable! You’ll be stuck in a glorified convention center waiting for the end.
But don’t worry! You’ll have free mutton and mead, ensuring you’re fat and drunk when the Midgard Serpent bites your head off.
Shangri-La
Paradise Near The Death Zone
This paradisal community from James Hilton’s 1933 novel, Lost Horizon, is amazing if you’re from there. He set this magical city high in the Kunlun Mountains in Tibet.
Like other idealized places such as El Dorado, the Garden of Eden, or Atlantis, Shangri-La has all the hallmarks of Heaven on Earth: plentiful food, total harmony, and long-living, happy people.
But what if you’re just visiting?
If you’ve been to Quito, Ecuador, you get a taste of what’s coming. Like Shangri-La, Quito is beautiful with its healthy people and stunning architecture. It’s a delight to explore, but only if you grew up at high altitude.
If you’re from lower altitudes, you’ll need to catch your breath every few steps. You might even get altitude sickness and need hospitalization.
Don’t worry, though, there are plenty of coca leaves to help with altitude sickness and boost your energy. In Quito, that is. There are no coca plants in Central Asia.
Shangri-La would be amazing until you run out of oxygen tanks. Then, you either adapt or die. At least future travelers could use you as a landmark, like those unfortunate climbers on Mount Everest.
Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry
A Prime Target For Powerful Terrorists
Remember terrorism?
For a while, the idea of small groups attacking innocent people was a major concern. Tourist spots, industrial plants, financial centers, and government buildings are typical targets.
In J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter universe, a boarding school is often a primary target. And those “terrorists” use magic. So, why send your kids there, wizards?
Pepsi Town
Center For The Emerging Corporatocracy
Imagine if Superman turned evil and worked for Pepsi, wanting to start a corporate dictatorship? That seems to be the idea behind the 1999 PlayStation game, Pepsiman.
As Pepsiman, you navigate tricky levels to help thirsty people get their Pepsi fix. The final level is in “Pepsi City,” a city owned and operated by PepsiCo, Inc. Wait, what?
If Pepsiman is from Pepsi City and Pepsi owns them both, what’s next?
Judging by the scary promo for the game, it would be a Pepsi takeover of the US. Fancy a Coke? That’s 10 years in re-education for you! Sponsored by Pepsi. Drink!
Brigadoon
See You Next Century
Brigadoon is a Scottish legend. A village in the Highlands was cursed. The locals made a deal with God to save their souls. The village would hide from the world, appearing only for one day every 100 years.
This day is a celebration because outsiders can visit. The catch? Villagers can’t leave. If anyone does, the whole place disappears forever.
Why would you want to leave?
Imagine an outsider grabs Mrs. MacLeod, ties her in a bag, and drags her outside the village. Everyone in Brigadoon vanishes. Where do they go?
Given their deal with God, it’s either Purgatory or Hell. If it’s Purgatory, they’ll reach Heaven eventually. So, why stay in Brigadoon?
It must be Hell. Imagine living in a timeless state for 100 years, subject to tourists whose bad behavior can condemn you. No thanks.
Sunnydale, California
Nice Weather And A Portal To Hell
California has many beautiful communities. Anyone would want to live in Claremont, Solvang, or Hillsborough. Even with the issues in Los Angeles and San Francisco, Beverly Hills or Nob Hill are great if you can afford them.
Sunnydale could be on that list, nestled between Claremont and Hillsborough. The only issue? You’re right next to a portal to a monster-filled dimension that’s leaking into your world.
But it’s okay because you have Buffy. Maybe you should have moved to Solvang instead.
