We’ve all made excuses. Maybe you were late for work, missed a meeting, or skipped a party. Those little white lies usually don’t have big consequences. But what happens when you’re caught by the police committing a crime? That’s when you need a truly convincing excuse. Some people, however, take creativity to a whole new, and often hilarious, level. Get ready to chuckle at these ten unbelievable excuses people actually gave to the police to cover their tracks.
10. This Is Not a Burglary: It Is a Free House
Imagine being caught red-handed stealing and then trying to convince the police it was all a misunderstanding. That’s what Charles and Pernella Bull attempted in South St. Paul, Minnesota. After being caught taking items like a toolbox, computers, and tools from a home, their excuse was quite something. They told officers they shouldn’t be charged because a friend said the house was listed as a “Free House” on Craigslist! They believed they could just walk away with the items consequence-free. Naturally, a quick search by an officer found no such listing. Their creative Craigslist defense didn’t hold up.
9. This Banned Substance Is a Prescription
Even celebrities aren’t immune to making questionable excuses. When Sylvester Stallone was caught illegally importing 48 vials of human growth hormone into Australia in 2007, his initial claim was that a doctor prescribed the banned substance. Later, his lawyer stated Stallone was using it under medical supervision for an undisclosed condition. However, no doctor’s name was ever provided. Considering the substance was banned in the United States where Stallone lived and not legally available for retail, getting a legitimate prescription would have been impossible. He ended up with a $2,500 fine for his troubles.
8. I Kept One Eye Closed While Driving to Prevent Me from Seeing Double
Driving under the influence is dangerous, but one woman in Sweden had a unique, albeit ineffective, solution. When police stopped her for driving erratically near Osternarke, swerving between lanes, she was clearly intoxicated. Her excuse? Realizing she was drunk, she decided to close one eye while driving. Her logic was that this would prevent her from seeing double. While she might have thought she was being clever, the police weren’t impressed with her “innovative” approach to road safety. She received a two-month jail sentence for her one-eyed driving adventure.
7. I Was Violent Because of the Full Moon
Some excuses are truly out of this world. Take Thomas Stroup, a 20-year-old who caused a disturbance at a campground in Amherst, Ohio. When deputies arrived, they found him sleeping under a trailer. He reportedly growled at them before being arrested. En route to jail, Stroup apologized for his actions. He explained that he’d had too much vodka and, due to a past wolf scratch incident, he reacts violently during a full moon. Whether the officers bought his werewolf-like defense is unknown, but it certainly made for a memorable arrest.
6. I Was Looking After the Cannabis for a Friend
The classic “it’s not mine” excuse gets a twist. Plamen Uzunov was discovered in Wales with a cannabis factory containing over 250 plants. His explanation to the police was simple: he was merely looking after the cannabis for a friend. He claimed he was to be paid £1,500 for six weeks of plant-sitting, which conveniently included free accommodation in a converted bedroom. When police arrived and knocked, Plamen initially refused to open the door, forcing them to enter. He eventually admitted his offense and was jailed for 18 months, while the valuable plants were destroyed.
5. He Fell on the Knife That Caused His Injury
This excuse is as chilling as it is unbelievable. Sharon Robinson inflicted a 2.5-inch knife wound on her partner, Jonathon Gimblett, while he was in bed at his home in Wales. Instead of immediately calling for help, she left him bleeding for hours before finally calling an ambulance. When questioned by police, Robinson claimed her partner had simply fallen on a knife in the kitchen. She then said she put him to bed to keep him warm after seeing he was bleeding profusely. Gimblett’s injuries were severe enough to require a blood transfusion. Her story didn’t convince the authorities, and she was sentenced to 18 months in jail.
4. I Didn’t Want My McDonald’s to Get Cold
Some priorities are just… different. South Yorkshire police officers pulled over a motorist for reckless speeding, only to be met with a rather mundane, yet bold, excuse. The man admitted he was rushing home because he didn’t want his McDonald’s meal to get cold. Perhaps if he hadn’t overtaken an unmarked police vehicle, his fast food might have stayed warm. To make matters worse, his vehicle wasn’t insured and was promptly seized. In the end, his meal likely got cold, and he lost temporary possession of his car. Not exactly a happy meal outcome.
3. My Cat Downloaded Child Pornography on My Computer
Blaming the pets is a common tactic for minor household mishaps, but for serious crimes? Keith Griffin from Florida tried it when over 1,000 images of child pornography were found on his computer. His defense was that his cat frequently sat on his keyboard. He claimed that on several occasions, this feline activity resulted in strange material being downloaded without his intention. Unsurprisingly, police detectives didn’t find this excuse convincing. Griffin was charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography. The cat, however, faced no charges.
2. The Prostitute Was Going to Show Me Where to Get Tomatoes
Sometimes, an excuse is so absurd it’s almost impressive. Muhammad Ikhlaq, a 39-year-old man, was arrested by West Midlands police on suspicion of soliciting. He was driving through Walsall with a known sex worker in his car. Ikhlaq, however, denied any illicit activity. He claimed the prostitute was simply showing him where he could buy tomatoes. He further stated he was withdrawing cash to pay for said produce when police spotted the sex worker in his passenger seat. The police were not persuaded by his tale of tomato procurement and fined him for his conduct.
1. I Was Looking for Islamic State Militants in the Parking Lot
In a truly bizarre case, Lisa Carol Roche from Mississippi was arrested for breaking into cars at her children’s high school. After numerous complaints of stolen property led to an investigation, officers witnessed Roche in the act. When confronted, she offered a wild explanation. She claimed that recent news coverage about the Islamic State had terrified her. So, she took it upon herself to check the parking lot to find and flush out any terrorists hiding there. Her vigilante anti-terror excuse didn’t sway the officers. She was charged with commercial burglary of an automobile. No terrorists were found.
These excuses range from the slightly silly to the downright unbelievable. While creativity in a pinch is one thing, these individuals took it to a whole new level, providing law enforcement with stories they won’t soon forget. It just goes to show, sometimes the truth, or at least a more plausible lie, might be the better option!
What’s the most ridiculous excuse you’ve ever heard? Leave your comment below!
